Trolls, Queens and Gays

Recently, Nich introduced me to this website:

www.omegle.com

It's this website for lifeless people to meet other lifeless strangers on the giant spider web we call the Internet.

Basically, it's a chatroom for young horny teenage boys/girls/gays/lesbians/ducks/pigeons etc to meet new friends!

However, there is another species that frequently hangs around Omegle and they are known as....

*JENG JENG JENG JENG*

THE TROLLS.

YO!

Oh wait wtf Shrek is an ogre.

Haiya nvm la ogres and trolls are relatives anyway and probably have tea and crumpets together every Christmas and exchange ang pao packets every CNY. NO I AM NOT BULLSHITTING OKAY. Hmph! *sips tea with my troll bff*

Anyway, the art of trolling is the art of being a green, ugly monster. Something like....Nich la, just green.

Ok la mei you la trolls where got so ugly! Trolls on Omegle are actually even lifelesser and crappy people that troll the site and pranking people by harassing them/pretending to something they are not.

For instance, a certain very hot girl named Min Xian pretending to be a Shaolin monk highly trained in Kung Fu in Omegle:

You: I CHALLENGE YOU TO A SHAOLIN SHOWDOWN

Stranger: O_o

You: come on!

You: bring it!

Stranger: >=]

You: SUPER TRIPLE STEAMING SMALL EYED PEKING DUCK ROUNDHOUSE KICK

You: wachaa!

Stranger: ROUNDHOUSE SESAME CHICKEN

Stranger: hiya

You: MONKS JUMPING OVER PADDY FIELD SPECIAL TECHINIQUE

Stranger: CRAZY CROUCHING TIGER CLAW

Stranger: have i defeated you?

You: NOOOO

You: PIG STYLED PRAYING MANTIS HOP

You: HAIYAAA

Stranger: VIPER LEAP OVER THE MOON KICK

Stranger: WAAAAAH

You: oh you;re good

Stranger: i learned from the best

You: TRIPLE STAR PADDY RICE TIGER TIGER PARA PARA POW

Stranger: DOUBLE VENUS FLYTRAP PUNCH

You: CROUCHING PIGEON HIDDEN PIG

Stranger: FLYING WHOOPING CRANE OF DEATH

Or...pretending to be a very angry Korean who enjoys scolding people in Korean:

You: ABUHYO KIMCHI DONG BANG SHIN KI

You: FUKU

You: FUKU

You: RAIN KIMCHI BI BIM BAP!!!!!!

You: SHUTUTO

You: SHUTUFUKU

Stranger: I know dong bangshin ki

You: ....wtf

And sometimes, you meet retarded people who don't even know where Arabian people come from.

You: i'm 18, female

You: and arabian

Stranger: arabian ? form ?

Stranger: from?

You: osamaland

You: all osamaland people are called arabians

Stranger: there r no such country

You: no

You: there's no such country called arab

You can also look for your long lost friends on Omegle:

You: im looking for Ramsay Marco Von Pierre Jean Phillipe Ralph Michael Seth Macbeth Shakespeare. have u seen him

Stranger: I think he just left

Stranger: do you have msn id?

You: is ur name Mitsubishi Von Nissan Steel Metalmaker DS XBOX

Stranger: yes

You: then my msn is

You: FuckUOldPervertIAintNoFuckingVibratorMitsubishiDSXBOX

Stranger: oh good

And sometimes you meet people from Malaysia who try to impress other people with Malay:

Stranger: apa nama anda

You: lol

You: saya bernama

You: Youthinkidunomalayahbastard

And people who try to impress you with Chinese:

Stranger: 我真是中国人啊

You: wo ye shi ah

You: think i duno chinese ah

It's times like this that I am grateful I am multilingual =D You can't even insult me in Tamil ok I know the most powerful Tamil word in history - PANDI.

Trust me go to India and call people that and you will definitely be damn well received over there. Indians have this prophecy where whenever a foreigner utters that word, the foreigner must be treated like kings.

NO I AM NOT BULLSHITTING. YOU INDIAN OR I INDIAN!?

Oh wait wtf I'm not Indian but THAT STILL DOESN'T MAKE YOU INDIAN.

You also meet very encouraging people who support you when you're about to make a step into womanhood:

You: im going to get boobs soon

You: im going to be a tranny!

You: im so excited.

Stranger: enjoy your new assets

You can also pretend to be Mexican:

Stranger: ola

You: los mexican

You: buenos nachos arriva!

Stranger: english plz

Stranger: i can't speak spanish

You: el stupido donkeyo

You: burrito braino

Stranger: what the heck

You may even meet violent people who like bombs:

Stranger: ASLASLALSLAL

You: 100 MALE AFGHANISTAN

You: HELLO

You: ASL ASL ASL

Stranger: LO

Stranger: 100

Stranger: ROFL

You: I BOM YOU

Stranger: EL OH EL

Stranger: OMG

You: BOM

Stranger: I BOM UUUU

No strangers were hurt in the making of the conversations above wtf. Some are mine, some are Nich's(the ruder ones are his 'cause you know la I damn demure where got say bad word wan).

I love Omegle la trolling around there pranking people is damn fun I spent eight hours straight doing it that day. Oh wtf why am I so lifeless T____T

At least I'm still pretty :)

Anyway okay now it's time to tell you all why I didn't update for so long. OF COURSE I WASN'T BEING LAZY.

IT'S JUST THAT....

I DISCOVERED I HAVE BECOME QUEEN OF A SMALL COUNTRY CALLED THE UNITED STATES OF SMART HOT GIRLS.

I even have my own currency!!!!!!

And so, from now on, you all shall address me as Queen Min Xian. Thank you thank you. Queening around is a hectic job okay where got time to blog!

And now time to plog(photoblog) with long overdue photos:

Class photo - spot me a.k.a the Queen and my loyal maiden with the pink fan.

See my stupid maiden only know how to pose don't know how to fan me properly.

Drink water before your tongue burns from the hotness of this photo - double Lim(Lim Min Xian and Caleb Lim) hotness okay. Ok la Rayna also hot see I damn nice

Yen Yi and Denise and the box and the Arabian princess and the Min Xian.

Jia Huey shows her happiness in weird ways.

Denise lost her body so we got her a cardboard body as replacement.

Nich's bday - neh the troll I was talking about earlier la.

Denise, me and 1/2 Tzehao.

Outside Italiannies for Nich's bday but we ended up eating in Michelangelo that closed down just two days after wtf.

Got many more photos wan lor but damn lazy collect and this is all that's in my com and I damn lazy hunt for the external hard drive where the rest are in.

AND AND AND I LOVE ADAM LAMBERT!!!!!!!!!! <3

DAMN LENG ZAI

DAMN TALENTED

YER WHY SO LENG ZAI T___T

GAY THEN GAY LA!!!! Doesn't mean he's less talented or less good-looking okay! What's wrong with gay people huh huh huh!?

Gay people like unicorns, rainbows, rabbits, colorful gay stuff and tell me, what's wrong with all that! Nice what! You don't like rainbows meh!

Since I can't vote for Adam on American Idol, let's come together to FIGHT FOR GAY RIGHTS(FFGR) instead!

FFGR YO!

MAY FOR GAY!

American Idol should totally let people from other countries vote since they let us watch it anyway. American people damn evil, let us watch then make us addicted then don't let us vote T_T

But then again I love Kris Allen too lor so I don't know who should win. *dilemma-ing*

NVM MY GAY BOY WILL STILL HAVE A GREAT FUTURE AHEAD!

~Min Xian, Co-president of FFGR.

P/S: The real reason why I updated is 'cause I need only 70 cents to cash out from Nuffnang and I want you people to click my ads =D

CLICK IT THE QUEEN COMMANDS YOU TO!

P/P/S: I LOVE DOTA!!!!! further elaboration next time

We're Cyberifically Cyber!

I'm in Cyber this year again! And all my classmates are the same!

OMG WHAT A COINCIDENCE! O.O

We are like so fated to be together, like that two people in the Chinese urban legend thingy where they are like super fated and they keep meeting each other and a rainbow even connects them to each other.

Oh wait that isn't fate that's just the story of the cow dude and the pretty fairy. It's a Chinese legend. Wanna hear it!?

I know you do!

Okay since I'm lazy and I'm only doing this Cyber post 'cause I realise I've been promising it since forever, I'm going to give you the gist of the legend in POINT form.

The Legend of the Cow Dude & The Fairy in Point Form for the Lazy

Seven hot fairy sisters(imagine seven Min Xians) came down to Earth from heaven. Why?
They heard of this hot girl named Min Xian and wanted to meet her.

Then they decided to take a swim in the lake naked. Why?
They bimbo.

They left their clothes all over the place. Why?
They stupid.

Horny dude named Niu Lang(translation: Cow Dude) decided to be horny and spy on the naked hot girls bathing. Why?
He horny.

Horny cow dude fell in love with the seventh sister and decided he must own her! Why?
He horny.

Horny cow dude then stole the seventh sister's clothes. Why?
The fairy bimbo enough to leave it lying around.

Fairies stopped bathing. Why?
Fish have sharp teeth.

Fairies get dressed and off they go to infinity and beyond and left the seventh sis behind. Why? She naked cannot go back heaven.

Seventh sis cries and demands someone return her designer clothes, like ASAP before she ruins their social life in heaven before they even die. Why?
She spent a lot of fairy$$ on those darn designer clothes.

Horny cow dude comes out of his hiding place with the seventh sis's clothes. JENG JENG JENG JENG! Why?
He can't stay in the bushes horny-ing forever right.

Seventh sis falls madly in love with cow dude. Why?
She likes to eat beef.

Horny cow dude marries seventh sis and they live happily eating his cows. Why?
Cows are meant to be eaten and have their nipples squeezed for milk because we're just cruel, cruel people.

Heaven King misses Seventh Sis and hire the Shinigami(which means Death God you non-anime-watching person) to get her back. Why?
She was always the most entertaining bimbo.

Heaven Police catches her back and seventh sis emos. Why? Heaven no beef!
Heaven people must be VEGETARIAN *gasps*

Horny cow dude looks up towards the sky and demands heaven to give her back. Why?
She hot.

Seventh sis emo very kao kao and starts watching 'How to Be Emo' by nigahiga on Youtube. Why?
He gives good instructions.

Heaven King pities her and decides to work something out. Why?
He wants to use the computer and doesn't want her hogging it.

So they decide that every year or something on the seventh day of the seventh month, a rainbow will appear to bridge the distance between heaven and Earth and Cow Dude and Seventh Sis can meet. Why?
Well, it's quite expensive to make rainbow bridges. RECESSION OKAY!

THE END.

OK I ABSOLUTELY MUST STOP TELLING CHINESE LEGENDS/MYTHS/FACTS HERE. Some Chinese legend people may come and sue me although technically they can't since I don't think anyone owns this legend

And now I seriously must do the 4 Cyber post. I was supposed to do this on the last day of school last year but instead I'm doing it on the first day of school this year! =D

I know, I am so absolutely creative right! Always fashionably late.

Ok no la I just procrastinated. I can't help being a procrastinator....



Finish this post later.

Ok la mei you la I'm a responsible blogger la click my ads la =D

~Min Xian is a responsible blogger!

P/S: I wrote this on the first day of school and heh never finished it and hence the "I was supposed to do this on the last day of school last year but instead I'm doing it on the first day of school this year!".

But I still decided to post it to show my responsibilty.

And to get you people to click my ads.

The Most Interesting Post Ever

Today, on a very nice day, I woke up.

And then I took a bath and brushed my Colgate teeth.

And then I went to school.

There was a traffic jam on the way to school.

Some geniusitic politician is building a bridge for us. Oh yey. We can have a lake now.

And then I did my homework in school.

The canteen was very crowded.

My chem teacher did not show up. So we got a relief teacher. I did more homework.

And then...

JENG JENG JENG JENG!


I went home in a car!

And now I'm typing this.

OMG SO INTERESTING! WHY AM I SO INTERESTING! NARRATING MY LIFE IS VERY INTERESTING, NO!?


A drop of emoness shall be added to interesting-ify this post more.

The Most Emo Post Ever

Today.

It rained.

GOD WHY MUST YOU WET MY PANTIES THAT ARE DRYING OUTSIDE T__________T

The world hates me.

It won't even let me have dry panties.

Die me die =/

I'm going to cut my hand now and carve a sad picture on it with a safety pin like all emo people do and then post in here to interestify this post.

The sun no love my panties. =(

And I am elmo! Uh, emo.

And forgive my previous "!", emo people only use fullstops.

Forgive me for asking for forgiveness and taking up your time.

Forgive me for asking for forgiveness for asking for forgiveness and taking up your time.

My hair is black.

Black is the color of death.

I am going to die. This is a sign.

Oh and so is the rest of Asia.

The Dance Dance Revolution people are going to be broke.

Oh bollocks.

XOXOXOXOiamanoxXOXOXOXOXO,
Interesting Emo Princess Min Xian

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

OMG IT'S A NEW YEAR!
IT'S A YEAR THAT IS NEW!
THE NEW THING IS THE YEAR!

Personally, I actually like 2008 more than 2009 although technically, since it's just the first few days of 2009, I've never actually experienced 2009 so I'm in no position to judge it but then...

DON'T YOU PEOPLE JUST LIKE WRITING 2008 INSTEAD OF 2009!?

I mean 8 is like a funner number to write okay! It's got two loops and I always have a kick writing 8s. It's a lot funner than writing 9's that's almost like an 8, only one bit of it got chopped off and now it just resembles a circle with a curly tail. LIKE HOW UNCREATIVE IS THAT!? Any Tom, Dick, Harry, Ali, Abu, Ah Chong, Ah Ching and Muthusamy could think of that okay!

And did you all know that 8 is actually the most auspicious number for Chinese people?

Okay I know you people are all duh-ing and rolling your eyes but being the amazingly kind and generous person that I am, I see the need to spread this precious bit of information to non-Chinese people out there.

WHY 8 IS CONSIDERED AUSPICIOUS BY CHINESE PEOPLE:

You see, in Cantonese, 8 is "fatt". Ok no that's a huge lie, actually 8 is read as "patt" which coincidentally means busybody, nosy, auntie-ish and so on and thus the Chinese people of the world deemed that it was very unflattering to call it "patt".

Chinese people also enjoy the cultural activity of buying TOTO which is also known in the west as buying lottery numbers and thus the Chinese people of the world decided that they needed an auspicious number to buy.

So, one day someone very geniusitic in the Chinese community had a very geniusitic idea: "LET'S CALL 8 FATT INSTEAD OF PATT!"

When asked why, he said it was auspicious. When askedwhy, he said that it was because fatt sounded like the ang moh(Caucasian) word fat and generally fat people are rich people.

EH SERIOUSLY. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A FAT PERSON THAT'S NOT RICH OR AT LEAST WELL TO DO!? Huh huh huh!?

Fats don't just pop out from the sky okay!

The world revovles around one theory okay:

You no money you no food you no fats.

Simple as that. Look at the poor African children, sure they're stomach's bloated from kwashiorkor(BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT *FLASHES EXPIRED TOKOH SCIENCE CERT*), but it's nothing but air in it. And they are pretty much...penniless(sorry African people don't sue me for saying this I promise I'll bring rice over for you all one day and plant apple trees like Johnny Connie Appleseed).

OMG WHILE WRITING THIS PIECE OF EXTREMELY TRUE AND HIGHLY UNFAKE INFORMATION I HAVE JUST DISCOVERED THE ULTIMATE DIETING PLAN: GET BANKRUPT! OMG I AM SO SMART LA!

You see, if we go shopping everyday and spend all of money on pretty outfits and hardly any on food, we will be thin and at the same time have tons of pretty outfits we can FIT IN. No more thrusting your finger into your throat to vomit after you eat! INSTEAD GO BANKRUPT =D

Seriously I need to be on Oprah right now. *girls all over the world thank me and print me tons of new "genius" certs for me to flash*

Anyway back to the story of fatt and patt:

THUS FATT HAD BECOME THE OFFICIAL AUSPICIOUS NUMBER FOR THE CHINESE PEOPLE!

No I am not bullshitting okay I am extremely Chinese-ish okay!

I have a cheongsam okay! I eat oranges and dim sum and anything Chinese on Earth! I bought red stuff to wear for Chinese New Year! I buy tons of melamine stuff to eat! I enjoy leeching off people and I love money more than anything! I enjoy gambling! I like firecrackers! I shop in Asian Avenue! I play Chinese chess!

Look at my geniusitic face in deep thought as I play Chess that is Chinese!

And oh unfortunately that amazingly geniusitic Chinese person who had that very geniusitic idea to call 8 fatt did not realise that fatt also sounded like another ang moh word - fart.

BUT THEN AGAIN YOU NO MONEY YOU NO EAT YOU NO WANT TO SHIT YOU NO FART.

Article source: weekeepeetia.net

Please support weekeepeetia.net by clicking on the ads at eclipsed-reality.blogspot.com. May I wish you a very fatt new year! May you become more fatt eating cookies and look more fatt in comparison to me!

Ok back to the main main topic which is the celebrating of an unold year:

MY NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS:

1. Do geniusiticly well in SPM(Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia).

2. Tell people to SPM(Sila Puji Minxian).

3. Tell the person who created SPM to SPM(Sila Pergi Mati).

OMG SPM IS SUCH A MULTI FUNCTIONAL ACRONYM! OMG AREN'T YOU JUST BASKING IN MY COOLNESS FOR HAVING FIGURED THAT OUT!?

Ok I am being very lame.

And in case you are not Malaysian, SPM is something very very evil and sinister(possibly even more evil than Adolf Hitler although it has not balls at all as compared to Hitler who only had one ball according to Denise). It is so evil that whenever it is mentioned, people actually CRINGE. SPM is...

*jeng jeng jeng jeng*

AN EXAM!

*gasps from the evility of it*

And oh, Sila Puji Minxian means Please Praise Minxian in case you were wondering. I know you were wondering. So now SPM SPM SPM SPM SPM SPM SPM!

Ok back to my new year resolutions.

4. Cash out from Nuffnang.

No, I am not being selfish okay, I am actually trying to improve your health by doing so. How? You see, whenever you click something, especially ads on eclipsed-reality.blogspot.com, blood will flow around your fingers most smoothly and thus you will be able to avoid something called finger 'CHAO GAN-ing' and will further improve your finger performance(extremely good for DOTA sessions, O2JAM, Audition, Super Dancer Online).

5. Star in Gossip Girl.



6. Kill Yivern the vampire who sleeps during the day.


7. Win the world record for having most pens stuffed up my amazing orientally Chinese nose.


8. Establish a broom and dustpan manufacturing company with Denise the Unsmart. I am the brains in the company and she is the...Denise.

Dustpans and brooms are the way of the future!

9. Raise global awareness that Asians do not have small eyes and that is STEREOTYPING okay!! Also, get rid of stereotyping people.

We are WATCHING, you sickening stereotyping people so BEWARE.

10. Outsmart these two people:

Y just lost her Death Note to A.
Omg wth I just made an anime joke!

11. Become a swimming ninja and karate chop Michael Phelps when he's in the water so that Malaysia can win the gold medal in swimming.


12. Look for Land of Amazingness - the magical land of Minxianrocksjustadmitit.

Could it be in the toilets of a PH petrol station!? GASP.

13. Have the best damn last year of high school with amazing people like the people from my class. =D



And no I am not done with my New Year resolutions!

14. Write that damn story about elevators and small-eyed people that I know you people almost peed in your pants waiting for.

15. MARRY JAY CHOU. And poke Leehom in his too-big octopus eyes.


OK THE END THE END BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE!

~Min Xian is out of ideas for an ending line.

P/S: Min Xian & Co. would not like to be sued by Gossip Girl. We are just Gossip Girl wannabes and are not in any way afififififififilated with Gossip Girl. And the photo was taken by Melissa =D

What your beloved blogger is currently up to:

I have eloped with Jay Chou and am currently residing in Taiwan, busy inspiring him to write more amazing songs and playing mahjong with his mother a.k.a my mother in law.

OR MAYBE,

I am stuck in an elevator with a small-eyed person and am too famished to blog because eating the tiny eyes of the small-eyed person was simply not nutritious enough.

OR MAYBE,

I am in Africa with the tribe of women who iron their boobs at a young age because it is considered beautiful and am currently queen of Flatopia.

OR MAYBE,

I have discovered that Doraemon actually exists and am currently hunting him/her down(Doraemon girl or boy ah? Oh yeah, it's a cat right!) so that I can make him lend the the little helicopter thing Nobita puts on his head that allows him to fly around.

OR MAYBE,

I have hopped aboard a pirate ship and is currently mass producing pirated DVDs! Quantum of Solace? Madagascar 2? Fear not, Pirate Queen has it all in the form of shiny shiny flat compacts discs =D

OR MAYBE,

I have just solved the world's financial crisis with my ingenius plan - if we are all going broke, why not we just forget it all and restart and start printing money!? I never did understand recession! Too much goods and not enough money!? JUST PRINT MONEY THEN. I know, superly genius right!

OR MAYBE,

I am in the midst of an amazing anime called One Piece and am at stuck at home lifelessly watching it, too engrossed to blog.

It is up to you people to guess what I am doing now.

OK LA SORRY TO DISAPPOINT LA BUT NO, I HAVE NOT DISCOVERED DORAEMON

T_____________________T

So I am not hunting him down! No fear one day he's real he's real just like Santa right! We must believe in Doraemon forever =D

And no la the world is too stubborn to listen to my ingenius plan so you people are still gonna be broke due to the global financial crisis.

And no la the small-eyed person's eyeballs are just about as big as ours okay! IT'S JUST THAT THEIR EYE SLITS ARE SMALL. Don't discriminate their eyeballs okay! Only one part of their eyes are small which are the slits!

And no la I have not eloped with Jay Chou, we are going to marry VERY OPENLY...once he realizes his one true love is not music, but a girl named Lim Min Xian.

And the truth is...

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY MAHJONG.

Yes I am very ashamed that I lack such a big part of Chinese-ity.

Someone teach me please or else I will never be able to befriend mahjong playing aunties.

And NO LA I AM NOT A PIRATED DVD SELLER! I do not support piracy okay, it is so wrong okay, BUY ORIGINAL OKAY! You think James Bond jump here jump there save pretty girl drive nice car shoot bad guy for us to simply make a cheap copy of his movie meh!

Those are all lies except for the fact that FLAT IS CONSIDERED BEAUTIFUL.

And oh the fact that I have been watching One Piece very lifelessly is true too.

Eh don't give me that 'you are a lifeless anime watching freak who stares at the computer all day' crap okay. I am not! I am a HOT lifeless anime watching freak who stares at the computer all day okay! THERE IS A DIFFERENCE HOR!

Seriously, I don't even wanna leave the house, the show's too damn good lor! If you're into fantasy/adventure/journey, then give it a shot.

What I have been giving up my social life for.

Also, my handphone is out of credit and my house died so I am totally CUT OFF FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD! And I refuse to sign into MSN because it disrupts me when I'm watching One Piece!

The last time I went out would probably be that time I went frisbee-ing in PH or that time I went rock-climbing in One-U after exams.

Omg I have become a cavewoman!

I have no social life! I am deprived of connection with other human beings!

I shall take a moment to moan the death of my social life.

Ah screw it la I want to watch One Piece so here's some pics of some not-so-recent outings to keep you people entertained.

H-FACTOR (where I met the second love of my life, M'sian pro dancer Fellest Yan):

Me, Denise and scary Yivern.

EH IS THERE LIKE A FAN OF YIVERN HERE AH? Someone from Australia Googled Yivern's name and found my blog. o.o Eh shit you all you should be Googling my name okay!

On the other hand, this could be a business oppurtunity. I will be selling Yivern's photos for a very low low low price of...okay la I will be killed by Yivern so better not, better not.

ROCK-CLIMBING IN CAMP 5 IN ONE-U:

The colorful rocks are there for decoration. Pretty right pretty right~!

Wei Han, Yivern, Denise and Min Xian the amazing.

Min Xian the amazing, Nich the ugly, Wei Han the pretty, Jason the butt, Yivern the scary, Denise the Denise.

SUNWAY WITH CHERISE AND LINGYEN:

Simply 'cause I look nice.

And okay la quite mean la, Cherise and Ling Yen don't look that great in that pic so as compensation, a hot pic of them(see I am such an amazing friend):

Ling Yen grabbed the cam after I camwhored and insisted on camwhoring.

Cherise and me blablablai'msickoftypingcaptions.

Me and MY LAZY CO-BLOGGER LING YEN .

She owns half of this blog okay and the blog link was her idea. Do I look like someone who would name a blog eclipsed-reality? I would name this blog minxianrocks.blogspot.com if I owned this blog completely xD

END OF PICTURES BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE BACK TO ONE PIECE YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!

All hail lifelessness! =D

Will do my tribute to 4 Cyber post later.

And my elevator and small-eyed person story another time.

~Min Xian is losing the passion to blog so I better get a cheque from Nuffnang okay!

ADVERTORIAL

Yes! I am writing an advertorial!

An unpaid one 'cause the person asking me to write it is Yivern!

No, it's not 'cause I love her so much that I am willing to do it for free but it's because she is Yivern and she can beat me up!

But nevertheless it is an ADVERTORIAL!

TO ALL SMK USJ 12 PREFECTS:

Those who have not paid their RM50 prefect dinner fees had better pay up on Thursday to Miss Leong Yivern or you will get whacked and your hair will all fall out.

Seriously, you people are terrible. It's so great that you even get to have a dinner to go too unlike us prom-less normal students AND YET YOU CAN'T PAY ON TIME!

TSK TSK SHAME ON YOU!

So you people pay up OR ELSE.

For any enquiries, please contact Miss Leong Yivern. =D


Excellent advertorial, I know. Don't you people think I so deserve to be paid!?

I SO DO, DON'T IT! Terrible! We should all protest against this terrible unfairness! Didn't we learn in the best subject on earth a.k.a Moral that we must protect the rights of workers!?

Technically, I am working 'cause typing an advertorial requires energy in the form of ATP and thus, my cells are working and thus, I AM WORKING omg why I so sciencish *flashes tokoh Science cert AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN~*

I realise that I won't be able to use that cert next year again 'cause it would be like, expired or something.

Shit.

P/S: There's fifty bucks in my swear jar!! =D

~Min Xian just wrote an advertorial!

I KNOW YOU PEOPLE MISS ME!

The title says it all!

Exam's OH SO OVER =D

*SCREAMS AND DEAFENS FORM 3 PEOPLE*

NEHNEHNEH THIS IS PAYBACK OKAY!

You people screamed in joy when your PMR ended, even though you were well aware that us wonderful Form 4s, namely yours truly were still in the midst of our Moral exams.

But as highly ethical beings, quote Eugene Gan, a highly nerdy Form 3, us Form 4s see the need to give and take.

So you scream in joy, we scream too!

And I am being very lame.

NEVER MIND!

YOU PEOPLE WAIT!

I HAVE NO TIME TO UPDATE PROPERLY YET!

BUT I HAVE COOKED UP A TALE ABOUT ELEVATORS AND PEOPLE WITH SMALL EYES!

WANT TO KNOW RIGHT!!!!!!

RIGHT!

Then continue to read eclipsed-reality.blogspot.com!

And because you people miss me so much! I feel the need to post a picture of myself for you people to use as your wallpaper! =D

The amazing one in deep thought =D

~Min Xian, busy writing a tale about small-eyed elevator operators.

Bah again!

A short break from History-ing. =/

Who knew Turkey Utmaniyah was a Islamic kingdom!

I thought Turkey was that country with the pretty Mediterranean ocean where people danced all day and were always in a festive mood! No?

And why are Arabian people's names so long oh so long! I am not being racist okay but really why are their names so long ah?

Wouldn't it be so inconvenient?

Like this guy named Abu Ali Husain bin Abdullah.

Why would you have three names? Pick either Abu, Ali or Husain la! So many names for what! So you can be Abu on Mondays, Ali on Tuesdays and Husain on Wednesdays is it is it!

And seriously damn pitiful okay if you had like three names. Imagine how many times you'd have to write your name all over your books so that they wouldn't get stolen. And you can't just write, "Ali" or "Abu" because god knows how many people have "Ali" and "Abu" in their names too can!

And this is why I like my name. LIM. MIN. XIAN.

So short so sweet so to the point! And so memorable right? I know you people chant my name in your sleep =D

And why are there so many theories as to how Islam came to South-East Asia!? There are like THREE theories okay,

1. Islam came from Arab
2. Islam came from China
3. Islam came from India.


LIKE DUH IT CAME FROM ARAB LA!

Do you even need to think! No right! It so did not come from China or India and even if it did, how did the China people and the India people know about Islam then? FROM ARABIANS RIGHT!

My god History makes no sense at all la. I can't believe I wanted to be an archaelogist once.

Yes, I did want to be one once, after I watched the Mummy movies XD

EH WHAT I AM NOT SOME CHILDISH KID WHO GETS INFLUENCED BY MOVIES OKAY!

I am passionate about digging out dusty old tombs and checking out thousand-year-old dead people wrapped in bandages =D Very, very passionate.

So passionate that I changed my ambition to becoming a spy after watching the Spy Kids movie.

Eh seriously those movies were the best okay, I bought like TWO How To Be a Spy books and even made my own gadgets okay. I remember I even learnt how to converse in Pig Latin this super duper wuper secret spy language that I shall not teach you because it is so super duper wuperly SECRET!

Unless you pay me and tell me how pretty I am, of course. =D Yes, I can so be bribed. Money is almighty after all =D

I shall now end this post with Pig Latin!

Inmay Ianxay siay rettypay!

HAHAHAHAHA BET YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THAT!

But then I want you people to understand it so here's the translation:

Min Xian is pretty!

I know you are all close to tears from the immense true-ness of the line above.

So well, go ahead and ponder on how Pig Latin works and perhaps you will be able to converse with me and other Latinese pigs! =D

While you are pondering I shall neglect this blog for a long time due to my need to study and watch Bleach. I'm sorry if I don't update often these days, just bear with me till my exams end on the 24th of October. Amazing Kuwait person, don't give up on me okay!!!


P/S: I am sorry if I offended anyone with long names or any Muslims. I am not being racist/religionist okay! Sorry! =D


~Min Xian, I rear Latinese pigs.

Edit:


I love Jay Chou so much why is he so hot and so bloody talented why is he the most amazing man on Earth and he really should marry me 'cause the uhh, stars say so.

WTH?

I swear people in the world are just getting whatthehell-er and whatthehell-er.

And oh yeah, forgot to mention this in my earlier post and I was so lazy to edit the earlier post and I wanted to pretend that I am a very nice blogger who updates a lot so I decided to mention this in a whole new post...

CHECK OUT MY OLD BLOG!!!

I just remembered it! Damn lame lor seriously! So not herdish at all XD

And one more thing, year-end exams are coming around so I think I will be updating much much lesser but YOU PEOPLE BETTER NOT BETRAY ME OKAY!

YOU PEOPLE BETTER STICK AROUND AND GIVE MY BLOG HITS!

Or else I won't show you people my uhhh...

POKEMON!


~Min Xian, why do I always end my post with this!

NERD IT UP PEOPLE!

I have decided that I do not need contact lenses!
Who needs them anyway la! Flimsy pieces of uhh contacts-lensish-material!

What's so great about contact lenses anyway? They're basically just transparent super hard to locate tiny tiny stickers you stick on your eyes.

THEY ARE JUST TRANSPARENT STICKERS!

Like the Barbie stickers or Pokemon stickers we used to stick in our sticker albums.

Eh WHAT! Don't act like you never had a sticker album to store your sticker collection.

DIDN'T ALL KIDS HAVE A STICKER ALBUM AND TRADED STICKERS WITH ONE ANOTHER?

You don't? You sad childhoodless person XD

Eh I so bet my sticker collection owns yours FLAT(see flat is used in a positive sentence thus making it a positive adjective =D), I had like every every every every single Pokemon sticker okay.

You want Charmander?

I'll stick it on your mouth so you can breathe fire!

You want the eggish-looking Pokemon?

I'll stick it on your butt so you can lay eggs!

You want Pikachu?

I'll stick it on your eyes the same way you people use that silly sticker you call "contact lenses" so you can electrify people!

Hahahahahaha omg I just made Pokemon jokes! =D =D =D

SO FUNNY

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Didn't get the jokes? Boo you la you no childhood okay anyone who wasn't a Pokemon fan are childhoodless people.

I am not childish okay, it's just that I have had a very extremely enriching childhood filled with Pokemons Digimons and all the mons under the sky and it is so unlike yours and you are just jealous =D

Anyways! Back to contact lenses.

We do not need them okay! They are just stickers that just so happen manages to give you clear eyesight when you put them on.

Nevertheless they are JUST STICKERS!

And unlike the wonderful Pokemon stickers I have, contacts lenses aren't very sticky and they don't have like ready-stuck gum on them to uhh help them ADHERE(Don't know what adhere means? Check out this piece of paper *shoves tokoh English cert in your face* muahahahahaha I am so annoying) to surfaces.

EH WHAT IS THIS RIGHT! CONTACT LENSES ARE LIKE HIGH CLASS STICKERS OR SOMETHING!

BAH! Think they're so atas, they don't wanna stick onto your eyes readily, you have to have provide them with stickiness like having STICKY EYES or applying SOLUTION on them.

Basically the saline solution is just some glamour name for CONTACT LENS GLUE that also somehow magically washes the contacts. And it helps stick the contact lenses onto not so sticky eyes.

Bahhhh! Contacts lenses are so stuck up can! We have to MAKE them stick to our eyes, they won't even stick to our eyes readily okay!

And they are so inconvenient and so hard to use. Even with my humongously gorgeous eyes, I have to take one hour just to stick them into my eyes okay!

Imagine the poor people with small small eyes!

CONTACT LENSES ARE SO SMALL-EYE-PEOPLE-IST!

THAT IS SUCH DISCRIMINATION AGAINST MY FRIEND TZE HAO!

HE DIDN'T ASK FOR SMALL EYES! SMALL EYES ASKED FOR HIM!

And why are contact lenses so small and flimsy!? My Pikachu sticker can be spat on, scratched, clawed, fire-breathed on by Charmander, sat on by the eggish Pokemon AND IT WOULD STILL BE FINE!

But noooooo contact lenses touch my wonderfully and not even that sharp fingernails and immediately they tear.

I ONLY HAD THEM FOR TWO DAYS!

AND NOW ONE IS TORN!

T______________________________T

BAH STUPID FLIMSY TEARABLE CONTACT LENSES I DON'T NEED YOU.

I have my Pokemon stickers nehnehneh contact lenses don't have hands they can't play with Pokemon stickers nehnehneh!

And I have my new Esprit specs!

What is so wrong with specs anyway? Nerdy?

WELL NERD IS LIKE THE NEW UHH, HERD.

Herd is uhhh, like a new term, for like clique. Only cool people can be in a clique, uhh, HERD. Yeah. Like a herd of cows. What! COWS ARE COOL ANIMALS OKAY! They go moo and milk comes out of their nipples! WHAT'S THERE THAT ISN'T COOL!?

So yeah, NERD IS THE NEW HERD!

And to prove that I am part of the nerd herd, I shall post up an amazingly hot picture of myself in my new nerd-shades a.k.a my specs =D

NERD IT UP NERD IT UP WITH ME BABEH!

Ok la I am totally bitter over the fact that I tore one of my contact lenses.

I WANT MY CONTACT LENSES. =(

So bad.

So so so so so so so so so so so bad.

=(

Some contact lens company better sponsor me now and give me free contacts.

Or can anyone buy them for me? I'll pay you and all you have to do is give the eye-checking dude in the eye shop my prescription.

Bah *slaps self* I am supposed to be in self-denial mode!


NERD IS THE NEW HERD! NERD IS THE NEW HERD!

Herd herd herd herd herd herd! And in herds, you don't go like, "Yo dawg what's shaking?", that is like SO YESTERDAY.

Us cool herds we go like, "Yo moo what's milking?". =D

I know we are so cool right. Sighhh this is why your ice creams stay frozen okay! 'Cause of the immense coolness the cool people herds are uhhh, milking out!

And what! SELF-DENIAL IS COOL OKAY. SELF-DENIAL IS THE WAY TO GO!






Ok la seriously someone buy me contacts T_________T

~Min Xian does not like stickers that do not come with sticky backs for easy sticking.